Competitive Milk Drinking
This article was last updated on: December 30th of 2021
Andrew Meyer attempting to drink 9 milk cartons during Mrs. Nolen's 5th hour, 11/18/21.
"Charlie I am not very pleased with you right now."
- Mrs. Nolen to Charlie Nolan after he encouraged Andrew Meyer to drink many milk cartons during her class, 11/18/2021.
"Too bad. It's better than devious licks."
- Andrew Meyer on Mr. Armour's discussion with Joey Badra about Competitive Milk Drinking, 11/23/2021.
Competitive Milk Drinking is a competition created during November of 2021 by Willemstan citizens. It is primarily directed by Charlie Nolan, who had started the competition after drinking many school milk cartons over the course of the month. He did so by asking for them from other students during his lunch period. By November 18th of 2021, milk drinking began to catch on as a trend in Willemstan. It is worth noting that Competitive Milk Drinking has consistently resulted in contestants feelings ill and rushing to the bathroom. Each milk carton has an estimated 325 milligrams of calcium in it, which is 25% of the recommended 1,300 milligrams. The "safe level" is considered to be no more than 2,500 milligrams in one day, which can be exceeded by drinking 8 cartons.
This is not the first time that drinking school milk has been popular among members of Willemstan. During his 8th grade year, Sean Kavanagh made a habit of drinking large amounts of school milk, and rolling the empty bottles at people during recess. Sean originally declared that he will not participate in this contest, but has potentially changed his mind.
Milk must be drank within your lunch period and the class period directly after. Any urination, vomiting, pooping, or other loss of bodily mass will void an attempted record. The milks must be the school chocolate milk cartons, with 110 calories. It is recommended that Charlie be present to judge any attempts and record setting.
This is a list of records held by Willemstan citizens.
- #1 - Joey Badra, 10 milks [11/23/21]
- #2 - Parker Foss, 9 milks [11/19/21]
- #3 - Jacob Keith, 8 milks [11/18/21]
- #3 - Andrew Meyer, 8 milks [12/08/21]
- #4 - Charlie Nolan, 7 milks [11/17/21]
- #4 - Andrew Meyer, 7 milks [11/18/21]
- #5 - Charlie Nolan - 6 milks [11/18/21]
Response from WHS Administration
On November 23rd of 2021, right after Joey finished his 10th milk and let out a cry of victory, Mr. Armour approached his lunch table. In the conversation that followed, he lectured Charlie (who was at the table) about making a scene and recording videos at school. He then dragged Joey down to his office, and ultimately let Joey off with a warning, but told him he would be suspended if he vomited as a result of the challenge. In addition, Mr. Armour revealed during the conversation that he's had to stop several kids from drinking too much milk since the 19th. So despite giving quite a lecture to Joey and Charlie, he never told them to stop, just to avoid making a mess and creating a distraction.
Charlie recorded Joey's record setting attempt that day. In the last few seconds of the video, you can see Mr. Armour approaching and saying "hey!" a few times. From across the cafeteria, Willemstan freshman Owen had taken a picture of Mr. Armour talking to Charlie, and shared it to Willemstan later that afternoon.
Charlie and Ian discussing the incident in #williamston-discussion that day.
Charlie, Ian, and Andrew discussing the incident in #wiki-development the same day.
Response from WHS Staff
Many teachers are aware of Competitive Milk Drinking. So far, they have mostly found the stunt amusing. Some teachers, including Mr. Herek and Mrs. Nolen, have discouraged members of Willemstan from participating in the challenge, but haven't stopped them.
Staff Members Who Know About Competitive Milk Drinking:
- Mr. Armour (since November 19th)
- Ms. Gurk (since November 23rd)
- Mr. Herek (since December 8th)
- Mrs. Nolen (since November 18th)
- Mr. Travis